i would love to understand myself. really, i dont get it. i show guys way too many emotions and always fuck it up between us but i cant show any emotions to my brother. i mean it isa completely different story but i should be able to show more emotion to my bro. i almost made him cry today without wanting it but obviously i have to change something. i have to try to show him more 'feelings' and the guys a lot less. i dont know, but people tell me to be more 'cold' to guys and i will try that but knowing me it wont work.. i hate it. well we will see what happens tonight at the party. i am so excited and really looking forward to it. i have the feeling it will change something in my life but i have no clue what.