Let's do this!

From Monday I will start a 4-6 week long diet with a plan that I got from my personal coach!

My plan is it to eat very healthy (5-6 times a day) and work out 3-4 days a week (at least 2x weights).

I will write down EVERYTHING I ate and at what time I eat it. I believe that writing down what I eat will help me realise well I'm doing and how much unnecessary food I eat!

Rules are the following:

-no salt

-no candy, crisps etc

-Max 2 teas a day but only 1 tsp honey 

-unlimited carrots

-4-5 sugar free candies

-1 cheat meal a week

My goal is to get leaner and healthier! I have done this diet before and it worked really well, however the past 2-3 weeks I had a lot of stress in school and couldn't keep up with the diet... Now I'm back again so and really determent to follow it. 

hm

aaaand once again i feel completely blown up and just disgusting. i think i gained 1 ½ kilos again and its killing me. i need to loose it as soon as possible again otherwise im gonna be all depressed and i really dont like feeling like that.. i just dont know how to loose it, well i do but its hard. its not working the way i expected it to work. i do sports, i usually dont eat much and its not very often that i eat a lot of candy or chips. its just disappointing.. im afraid to weigh myself in the evening cause i think i just keep on gaining weight even though i dont eat that much :/ annoooooying.

Italy 2011

blääh.

being on a diet for so long is a bitch. i mean yeah you get used to not eating a lot of candy and other unhealthy food but i got to a stage where i am soo freakin hungry all the time. the only problem is that i cant eat more cause i still want to loose weight. right now it more feels like im gaining some again which really is not good. i guess i will never be happy with my body. i hate how low my self-confidence is. i am still afraid of gaining weight.. my stomach hurts a lot lately and i need to eat more but i just cant. i know i would be unhappy again. ah i hate this situation cuz to me it is a lose lose situation.. just now i feel so ew once again, i guess i have already gained 0.5 kilos since friday and i really dont want that! well i gotta weigh myself soon and thn i will see :/ ..

eine angst die andere nicht verstehen können.

i now managed to loose the last 2 kilos that i wanted to loose but now i am scared as hell of gaining something again. i check the calories and fat of all the food i eat and doesnt matter what i eat i feel bad afterwards.always when i see a mirrow i have to check out my body, if it looks skinnier, fatter or something. it is a horrible feeling i have and i dont think a lot of people understand me.i always weigh myself in the morning but now i started doing that in the evening again which is annoying and depressing. i start getting all sweaty and feeling weird before weighing myself in the evening cause im scared that i gained more then i was allowed to..i cant gain anything.. i really dont want to otherwise i feel so bad again and have to eat even less.. i think i gained some weight today again, well it feels like it..gonna check it very soon even though i dont want too. ah i hate it..

calories are evil ...

DONE WITH MY MINI MOOOCKKS! :D:D im happy but i dont think it went too good for me. I am getting my results next week so that is gonna be interesting. I hooope i didnt fail cause i really studied a lot for them and did not have time for anything else not even to work out. As a result of that my whole "losing weight" thing just stoped and i gained a bit again which is really depressing and i feel so uncomfortable again. I actually start liking my legs but now i really do not like them at all.. arghh i hate this feeling. it feels like i need to loose more weight otherwise i cannot be happy with myself. i just have the feeling that nobody can accept me if i look like i do now. i guess it is ridiculous but thats the way it is and trust me i really do not like it. i need to lose at least 1 ½ kilos which is gonna be hard. i want to be able to accept myself the way i am but i just does not work for some reason. i might look like i am very self-confident but believe me i am not. my body is weird, if i work out a lot i gain weight, if i dont really do much i lose weight.. argh hate it. the only thing i can do is eating veryyy little until i lost it and then trying to keep it. so i guess ill be in a bad mood for the next weeks cause im gonna be so hungry.. well life is a bitch sometimes :D but i dont wanna look like a puffed-up something -.-

summerfeeling.

Finaaaaally i am in an amazing mood again.. the weather is really nice so its taaanning tiimmee :D:D everyone is in a good mood because the sun is shining the whole day and my friends just make me incredible happy!! do not really have a lot to say today :D