eine angst die andere nicht verstehen können.

i now managed to loose the last 2 kilos that i wanted to loose but now i am scared as hell of gaining something again. i check the calories and fat of all the food i eat and doesnt matter what i eat i feel bad afterwards.always when i see a mirrow i have to check out my body, if it looks skinnier, fatter or something. it is a horrible feeling i have and i dont think a lot of people understand me.i always weigh myself in the morning but now i started doing that in the evening again which is annoying and depressing. i start getting all sweaty and feeling weird before weighing myself in the evening cause im scared that i gained more then i was allowed to..i cant gain anything.. i really dont want to otherwise i feel so bad again and have to eat even less.. i think i gained some weight today again, well it feels like it..gonna check it very soon even though i dont want too. ah i hate it..