drama.

my weekend was surprisingly good.. well even tho we were so excited on friday we failed. we were waiting one hour to get into retro, and then they told us it costs money so we didnt go. we tried to find bars but it was impossible. so we went back to sweden and sat at mcd for a while. in the middle of the night, freja, handi, max and me went to my places. i was not in a good mood, not really depressed but something was wrong with me. i felt so lost, so alone, so unloved.. i dont know. right now my life is kinda messed up. i just wanted to sleep and forget everything what i heard during this night. well when we got at my place, we talked. we talked about everything. it was fun. we played "i have never.." and made max drink a lot :P on saturday almost everyone went to a party and the ones who were not invited like me went to town. it was so nice of this person but i dont even care anymore. shes a bitch and a fake friend. she talked so much shit about me and i think its kinda funny how so many peopel coem up to me and tell me what this person says about me. well i seriously had so much fun during this night. i met up with karrell, caro, sara and nik, we went to pistachia. we laughed a lot and i think we all enjoyed it. afterwards karrell went to my house and we had some deep girl talks. this girl is truely amazing! she listened to me a lot and it felt good. today i went to sofiero with my family.. it was dark and cold but there were candles on the way and i was drinkin hot chocolate, it was very very cosy. i loved it but it really made me want to have a boyfriend. i feel so alone even though my friends are always there for me. i think i just need someone on my side. i think i would feel a lot better and would get a lot mroe self-confident. i seriously have no self-confidence. someone once said im cool from the outside but im totally different from the inside. i mean everyone think im so strong and can handle everything, but i cant. im weak..and i fuckin hate it. something need to change in my life but i cant force it, it just needs time.